In our Nurse Self-Care groups, my colleague, Kelly Pineda and I are providing nurses a safe space to release their frustrations, disappointments, experiences and celebrations. Our group, Holistic Self-Care for RNs meets on a weekly basis. Recently, Kelly introduced us to should vs could. She explained that sometimes we take on things we think we should do, but don't really want to. It is very different doing something for someone out of love and kindness versus guilt and obligation. When the latter is the motivating factor, we end up being resentful because we are suppressing our needs and our motivation wasn't based on love, but perceived obligation.
Kelly points out that when deciding on doing something first, sleep on a decision if it doesn't need to be made now. Second, replace should with could. I should go to Missy's wedding shower vs I could go to Missy's wedding shower. I should work an extra shift vs I could work an extra shift. The change in a word, gives you permission to make a choice not go through with a perceived obligation.
How does this change your perspective? Do you make choices from a place of guilt and obligation?
